(Long Pause)

What are you doing?
Nothing
What’s nothing?
It’s the opposite of something.
How do you do nothing?
I dunno.
It’s a time/space sort of thing.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, how do you do it?
I’m not entirely sure but, I can tell you this… I’m an expert
At it.
Really?
Yeah. I can sit in front of a TV and see and hear nothing.
I’m actually an expert at this.
Sometimes you just need to lay in your bed and do nothing for three years.

I think I discovered at an early age that most things that
People think are something are really nothing. So, I learned to
Focus on nothing, And, you know what? … I’m really happy doing
Nothing. Because .. you don’t have to repeat what’s on the news,
What the movie was about, what you had for dinner last night, what was
On the shopping list ….

Doing nothing is really akin to defocusing. It’s like wearing an out of
Focus pair of glasses and not being bothered to get a new prescription.

Nothing is probably a learned behavior. My Dad was a Nothing
Expert. He worked hard. He came home. Ate dinner and did nothing.
And, he was happy as a clam.

“I am busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you
Know, always leads to something -cuts into the nothing and then forces
Me to have to drop everything.”
/Jerry Seinfeld

“In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Ever so
Often I would flick if on and off just to check it. Yesterday, I got a call
From a woman from Madagascar. She said, “Cut it out.”
/Steven Wright

So, what do you do when you finish doing nothing? I take a nap.

I don’t know if I shed any light on doing nothing but I’ll leave you with
This Groucho quote: “Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
Now, there’s nothing to think about the next time you’re doing nothing.