Nov 8, 2023

I’m looking for a joke.  Not any joke but, the best joke I ever heard.  It was the kind of joke that hit my funny bone really, really hard. The first time I heard it, I couldn’t stop laughing.  And, the more I heard it, the more I laughed.  It just might have been the funniest joke I ever heard.  It’s the kind of joke you read on the internet and you burst out laughing all by yourself.  And, that’s the best kind of joke (because you don’t have to run it up the politically correct ladder to see if it’s okay to share with anybody).

But, there’s a problem with this joke.  I lost it.  I can’t remember the joke to save my life.  How is this possible?  How can you forget something that had such a visceral impact on your day .. your week .. your year?  I’m sure I told this joke to 50 people. As I recall, all of them laughed.  Considering I have a wide range of friends and relatives who have a internal mechanism to field their ability to laugh at a joke, this joke surely was a joke for all ages.

What’s a fella to do when he can’t find what he lost?  He asks his family and old friends,”Do you remember that really funny joke I told  you 25+ years ago?  You know, the one that made milk come out of  your nose. We both fell on the floor laughing.  Oh, come on, you can remember it..”

Okay, fair enough.  I did share many jokes with you over the years.  Some were funny, others were kind of funny and some were groaners .. but, usually good groaners.

Maybe I should go on the internet and look up “what’s the funniest joke ever?”  What do you think the odds are of finding my favorite joke?  Slim to none.  It’s not because my joke was the funniest ever.  It’s because my joke was the funniest ever to me.  It hit my funny bone.

I remember watching or hearing an interview with a comedian who was not well known.  And, the interviewer asked him, “how do you know when a joke is funny.”  Without batting an eye he responded, “If I think it’s funny, it’s funny.”

So, how could I finish this ditty without telling a joke?  Now, this isn’t “the joke” but, the first time I heard it I thought it was pretty funny. Warning: It’s definitely not PC.

(or, the Piccolo player joke)

A bear walks into a bar. Slams down his paw on the bar an says to the bartender, “Give me a beer.’  The bartender looks at the bear and simply states, “We don’t serve beer to bears.”  The bear is a bit perturbed.  He taps his paw on the bar again and says, “Give me a beer.”  The bartender responds without even looking up, “We don’t serve beer to bears in our bar in Bellingham.”  The bear is now getting a bit pissed off.  This time he slams his paw on the bar and says, “Now, give me a damn beer or .. you see that woman at the end of the bar?  If you don’t give me a beer I’m going to eat that woman.  And, then he proceeds to walk to the end of the bar and in “poof” the woman disappears. The bartender looks at the bear very carefully and says, “Let me say this one more time.  We don’t serve beer to bears in our bar in Bellingham who do drugs.”  The bear looks at him with a quizzical look.  “You don’t serve beer to bears in your bar in Bellingham who do drugs?”  The bartender pauses and smile and said, “It’s about that bar-bitch you ate.”

Now, what was that really great joke?