Here’s What I Don’t Want To Be

Nov 8, 2023

When you get to be my age you have plenty of time to
Think about what you might have wanted to be in your
Life. A doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, an architect… Of course, the
List could go on and on.

Or, if you’re like me you might have wanted to be a circus acrobat (or, a
Guy who just stood on top of an elephant in a three ring circle),
A helicopter pilot, a boardwalk barker (oh, wait, I was that back in high
School) or a stand up comedian.

I knew for sure I didn’t want to be anything that required being serious
All of the time. So, I ruled out being an actuary, a tombstone salesman or
insurance salesman, A zoo keeper or, a barber.

My brother-in-law once sent me to a barber who seemed to be more
Interested in humping my shoulder than cutting my hair. But, that’s a
Whole other story for another day.

I once thought it would be fun to be a bird. You could fly just about
Anywhere and poop on just about any car or bald head. What a way to
Spend your day … pooping and laughing. Or, you could just hang out on
A wire and talk shit all day with your friends.

I never really considered the salary of any job. That would have
Required too much adult thinking.

As it turned out, I went this way and that way. From a bunch of dumb
Jobs in high school to another dumb job in the Army to owning a
Psychadelic lighting store to parking cars for rich and famous people at
A restaurant. I drove a cab in NYC and worked at radio station downloading
The local weather reports. And, then to producing street festivals and
Another boring job at a university. And, finally, making TV commercials.
Boy was that fun!

Of course, for all of the things I wanted to be I’ve thought long and
Hard about what I don’t want to be.